Speaking in church

Overcoming Weaknesses and Trials – September 30^th 2018

Ether 12:27

In the beginning God created Man. At that essential moment, the course of our mortal path began. Heavenly Father knew the plan and each of our places within it. I imagine we were just as excited for the plan to begin as Heavenly Father was. Our first parents were placed in a beautiful home – full of everything they needed to sustain their lives. However, they could not progress in the ways Heavenly Father had planned. What happened next, we are all familiar with: A tree, it’s fruit, Satan, a choice, chastisement, banishment – and from this experience – mankind was introduced into the fallen world.  At times, I am sure Adam and Eve thought back to their time in the garden and wished they could return. But, with faith in a God they had seen and communicated with, they started a family, and worked by the sweat of their brow to provide food for themselves, and their children. I am sure, despite their trial, they found happiness in the things they had been asked to do.

Many, many years later another story unfolded. This time, in the scorching desert of Egypt. Exodus tells of the story. It’s a story of bondage: “and the Egyptians made the children of Israel to serve with rigor. And they made their lives bitter with hard bondage, in mortar, and in brick, and in all manner of service in the field: all their service, wherein they made them serve, was with rigor.” (Exodus 1:13-14) The book of Exodus also tells us that “the more they afflicted them (meaning the Egyptians to the Hebrew people) the more they multiplied and grew (Exodus 1:12). This frightened a new King. He issued a command to kill all baby boys that born of Hebrew women, But, God had a plan, and a daring rescue, that could not be frustrated. He sent one of his choices sons to be born to a loving Hebrew family. Next came a woven basket, a devoted sister, a compassionate daughter of the Pharaoh. Our story continues with ten plagues that eventually caused a very stubborn Pharaoh to let the children of Israel GO. We know however, that their days of struggle and turmoil were not over yet.  Because they needed to be humbled and taught many important things they spent the next 40 years in the wilderness working to become what they needed to become.  I am sure, on many occasions Hebrew mothers longed to return to the familiar land of Egypt. I am sure they felt like they would never experience having a land to call their own. Only a select few were even given that privilege, yet those that never made it to the promise land, learned many things that were critical for their eternal progression.

Once again, many, many years later another story unfolds. This time in the year of 1840. You and I both know the story. Years of persecution had led the early members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints into the state of Illinois. There they bought a large tract of land and named the new city Nauvoo –the name of which means "beautiful place" or "city beautiful" in the Hebrew language (coincident, I think not). It was here that the people worked, saved, and sacrificed to build a beautiful temple. However, once again trials came to the people, and after the death of their beloved prophet – Joseph – they were asked, once again, to do what they thought impossible. In new book Saints – the Standard of Truth we read of a tender scene that happened in the early spring of 1846:

Once again, we know how this story unfolded: icy rivers, winter camping, births, deaths, sickness, warm fires, music, creaking wagons, steep mountains, miracles manifested, a safe haven found.  "Thus ends this long and tedious journey from the lands of our enemies, and I feel free and happy that I have escaped from their midst. But there is many a desolate and sandy plain to cross, many a rugged sage bed to break through, many a hill and hollow to tug over and many a mountain and canyon to pass, and many frosty nights to endure in mid-summer." – Hosea Stout.

And break that sage bed they did over, over, over again in small towns and cities all along the western United States. These early pioneers were never given a break from their trials, and for the most part, neither are we.

This next story is one you and I don’t know the ending too. However, I know where the story began. It started in small delivery room at Utah Valley Hospital in the late-night hours of February 24^th 1980. A few hours later a baby girl was born – her parents named her Laurie Ann. This small girl spent many years growing, learning, and loving her life and family. Many years slipped by until the fateful day when she met a boy. They spent many happy hours together doing many wonderful things. You all know this part of the story very well, for it might be similar to yours, or the story of your parents: a ring, a date circled on the calendar, a beautiful temple, a white dress, loving friends & family. Next came years of schooling, two baby boys, and many more happy memories.

Then on a beautiful spring day in April 2013 my world shattered when my youngest brother was involved in a fatal motorcycle accident while he was riding the switchbacks up Payson canyon. No one expected it, no one could have predicted it.  I was completely devastated.

The evening before the accident my husband and I were enjoying a late-night movie together. I don’t remember what we were watching, but I do remember missing a call from my father. Fate had dealt me a tragic blow and I didn’t know it yet. I decided to wait until the next morning to call him back. Before going to bed that night I knelt in prayer. I remember crying and telling Heavenly Father that my life just wasn’t what I wanted to be. I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to be, but I remember asking Heavenly Father if he would specifically take my hand in his and lead me through whatever changes I needed to make in order that I might feel satisfied with my life again. Needless to say, the next few days, weeks, and months we quite the journey for me as I attempted to pick up the shattered pieces of my formally safe world. I’m not sure why the death of my brother was such a faith shattering experience for me. Some trials are just like that. If I could have stayed curled up in the fetal position forever, I would have. Luckily, Heavenly Father had already sent me two little boys who called me mother, and who needed me to get up off that floor and carry on. I found ways to navigate the depths of despair, and slowly I begin to trust that Heavenly Father was in control and that he did have my hand and he was right beside me navigating me through this weaknesses to become a better person. I still look back at that time in my life and wonder how I made it through. However, I also look back with extreme gratitude for the process. For Heavenly Father, knew the strength I would need in the days to come.

I was just beginning to come out of that dark and gloomy time, when my eternal companion told me he no longer believed the church was true – and to make the news even harder – he no longer believed there was a God. From that day, to this one, he considers himself an atheist. Once again, I was thrust into a living nightmare. At that time, I had never personally known anyone who had denied the testimony they once believed and shared. It was again, a time of sadness and sorrow. This time, however, I knew that God was real, that he knew me, that he knew my weaknesses, and he knew what I was capable of overcoming. There were many, many Sunday sacrament meetings back then (and to be honest, still some today) that I doubted my ability to handle this trial. Yet, when it gets too hard to carry, I always, always feel Heavenly Father taking over and helping to carry the burden.

At the end of the day, each one of these stories may only prove to put you to sleep or to cause you to reflect about their lives after the trial was over. However, part of mortality is to learn and grow so we will be better prepared for post-mortal life. Each one of these stories provide many valuable lessons that we can use to successfully navigate this mortal life which is full of trials and human weaknesses.

Here are a few of the lessons that I learned:

Take accountably for your actions. Mother Eve, when asked directly what had happened in the garden, said “the serpent beguiled me, and I did eat”. I often think about Eve and how she admitted that she did indeed, do what she had been commanded not to do. We too, often do things we have been commanded not too, and, often our natural man tendencies take over. We want to assign the blame to someone else. Please, just someone else take the blame for my mistake, we say.  Sometimes, we even do extreme things to justify our actions, yet, life and hard situations would be so….much….better if we would just admit that we messed up to the people we have hurt, and begin repairing the damage we had done. Wise Benjamin Franklin wrote: “honesty is the best policy” and I think he was absolutely right.  

Eliminate a victim mentality. This is very difficult to follow when you have been hurt by someone else. I remind myself often not to fall into this mental trap. Nobody enjoys a complainer who can only see the hurt that others have inflicted on them. And, in the long run, pity parties are never worth all the crying. I’m sure some of the early pioneers continued to feel hurt from past persecution. But, they pushed past those feelings, to create something beautiful from the hardship. Our beautiful Provo City Center Temple, very literally, grew out of the ashes from a terrible fire. As we to strive to eliminate victim mentalities, we too will become a beautiful tribute to our loving Heavenly Father.

Take one step at a time

The pioneers didn’t take one giant leap and arrive at the Salt Lake Valley. Heavenly Father doesn’t work that way. He expects us to take one step at a time – just like those faithful pioneers. Sometimes its a baby step, but even baby steps count as steps. Between the years 1847 and 1869 an estimated 70,000 people made the exodus to Utah. That’s a whole lot of steps made by putting just one foot in front of the other.

Find something good about every day – In 2^nd Nephi 2:25 wise father Lehi told his sons that: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy. Joy is all around us if we but open our eyes to see it. Even our youngest Primary children learn about joy. A few of their lessons include: I am thankful for the day and night, I am thankful for water, I am thankful for trees, plants, and flowers, I am thankful for fish, I am thankful for animals, I am thankful for birds and insects, I am thankful for my hands, I am thankful for my ears, I am thankful for my eyes, and even I am thankful that I can smell and taste. Pause for just a moment and consider these words: I….am….thankful….for….my….hands. Oh, yes, how very thankful I am. I’m sure you are too.

Serve others – Bad days happen. When a lot of bad days happen in a row it can be hard to power though feelings of discouragement. One of my favorite ways to turn a bad day into a better one is to find a way to serve someone – anyone! Delivering treats are one of my favorite ways to turn my frown upside down. My husbands’ coworkers are in awe of all the treats I send their way. Little do they know it’s just a sign that I’m having a bad day or week. I’ve also been known to strike up a conversation with a Walmart employee or Smith gas station attendant. It’s amazing how much better you feel, and how small your problems are, when you take a moment to open you heart to others through service. As a side note, serving yourself can also be valuable. Every Thursday during the warm months, I have a scheduled date with my lawn mower. I take him out and we both get a workout as we trim the lawn that grows more quickly than either of us think it should. It’s the one time a week the noise outside becomes louder than the disagreeing children inside. I have felt peace, solace, and comforting love in many of those very loud moments. Taking time to serve myself makes me a better wife, mother, and daughter.

Be patient with yourself – One of my favorite sayings is: Rome wasn’t built in a day! I’d like to add that neither were you. Weaknesses and trials are what build our fortitude and determination. But, we humans are fragile and often our biggest critic lives within our own hearts. Remember, you are a Child of God, He loves you, He created you, and often we just need to be okay with knowing that sometimes it takes time for our weaknesses and trials to become less difficult to manage. Practicing a little bit of self-love goes a long way.

Life is a process, don’t forget it – Slow down, calm down, don’t worry, don’t hurry, trust the process ~Alexandria Stoddard. The plan of Salvation outlines this very concept. Let me offer a quick refresher course of the plan - premortal existence, then Earth Life, next comes the Spirit World, after which the Resurrection and then a Judgement period, finally we will each go into one of the three kingdoms or outer darkness. Hopefully none of us here will end up in the last place.

Trust in Heavenly Father – when my life was at its darkest hour I found a scripture which quickly became my battle cry. I’ll share this special scripture with you too:

Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.

Because its such an amazing scripture I’m going to read it to you one more time: D&C 58:3-4 Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand. I, Sister Thomas have faith in that day when you and I will be crowned with much glory. The hour is not yet, but I know, that in the Lord’s eternal perspective, it is nigh at hand, and I have faith in his timetable.

Heavenly Father created within each of us the trait of resilience.  As I’ve contemplated this assignment I’ve come to the conclusion that for, me - Sister Thomas, it is impossible to overcome weaknesses and trials. However, I know that as I rely on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ my weaknesses can become strengthen.  Similarly, my trials will never go away. Things change which might make todays trials easier, while at the same time making other trials harder. But, with the above suggestions, an overdose of prayer, and assistance from “heavenly helpers” I can navigate mortality and come through it a better and wiser daughter of God. At the end of the day, that’s exactly what I’m hoping to accomplish.

Our loving Heavenly Father knows that we all have a tendency toward being the “natural man”. It is through him and Christ’s atonement that we can navigate our way through our weaknesses and trials to become better disciples oh HIM. And to hopefully, one day return to live with him in the mansions he has prepared for us.

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